Erectile dysfunction can be a devastating experience for a man, but did you know that it can be equally troubling for his partner? Being one of the most prevalent sexual disorders in males, ED can not only shatter your confidence but can also undermine your relationship and negatively affect your partner. Having ED can make your partner suffer from psychological disorders, but how exactly does this happen?
Erectile Dysfunction- How Can It Actually Affect Your Partner?
You must have come across several TV commercials portraying erectile dysfunction as a common condition that requires a fairly simple cure. The commercial most likely starts off with a guy who is unable to get an erection so all he does is pop a pill directly. The pill seems to work so well for him that you probably find his partner going all crazy about how her guy is back to his romantic self. While these commercials provide you with hope, they fail to indicate about the stressful moments that a woman has to go through when her partner is dysfunctional.
Erectile dysfunction is a condition in which a man is unable to achieve an erection or maintain it long enough to participate in sexual activity. According to a research published in the International Journal of Impotence Research, ED hits the lives of almost 5 to 35 percent of men. Sex lives of men tend to change as their bodies age, and for some couples, this can induce problems in bedrooms. Despite the fact that ED is a commonly occurring medical condition, men suffering from it rarely ask for medical help. This is considered to be a problem in itself as erectile dysfunction is just a symptom and indicative of an underlying medical condition such as diabetes. So, avoiding medical help for ED might lead to the development of several medical complications too. Most of the men who suffer from erectile dysfunction choose to avoid seeing a doctor. At the same time, they also prefer not discussing it with their partners, not knowing how it can affect their partner’s health as well.
Erectile dysfunction can be accurately termed as a life-changing problem. It can either make or break a man, and can also put a strain on his relationships. When you choose not to tell your partner about the underlying problem, it often leads to misunderstandings. For example, if you prefer to hide your sexual disorder from your partner, there is a possibility that she will put the blame entirely on herself. The concept behind this is quite simple. Most of the women tend to measure their femininity, attractiveness, and self-esteem by the reaction of men towards them.
How Erectile Dysfunction Can Affect Your Wife
Therefore, when a man tries to hide his ED problem by avoiding sex, many women consider it as a sign that their partners no longer want to be with them. In this way, ED affects women’s self-esteem and shatters her confidence. Men, on the other hand, measure their masculinity and self-esteem in terms of their performance in the bedroom. A dysfunctional condition, in these circumstances, can make them feel embarrassed and ashamed of themselves. They choose to overcome this shamefulness by drawing away from their partners. With both sides of the relationships struggling with the emotions, relationships are strained within a matter of days.Andrew McCullough, who is currently working as a director of sexual health of males at NYU Medical Center, is of the opinion that women have a habit of internalizing things. They blame themselves first for everything that goes wrong, thinking that they might have initiated it somehow. They are also more likely to relate these problems to their appearance and often like to think that such problems are happening because they have lost their charm.
According to the experts, the main cause of women blaming themselves for their partners’ withdrawal is because they lack education regarding the origin and causes of erectile dysfunction. An increase in their anxiety levels and anger are the cause of further exacerbation of the situation. Most of the times, a woman stuck in such a situation starts questioning her partner due to a factor of hurt or anxiety. She starts suspecting that her partner might have an affair or does not find her attractive anymore. Her man, suffering from ED, considers her questioning and attitude as a form of personal attack and starts pulling back from her even further. Pulling back of the male partner acts as a confirmation for the woman who then begins believing that whatever is happening to their relationship is because of her and retreats further. As she retreats, her anxiety levels increase and depression kicks in while she simultaneously develops suspicions about what is going on with his partner. While all of this is going on, she never quits taking her share of the blame.
How the situation ends, in this case, is that the couple stops communicating with each other in terms of physical intimacy. Sex constitutes as an important aspect of every relationship, and its absence can cause distress in both partners. Men suffering from ED will not be able to provide their partner with enough physical satisfaction, eventually leading to withdrawal. Experts suggest that women must never withdraw because this is one thing that completely destroys a relationship. When a male suffering from erectile dysfunction withdraws, it can affect her partner by inducing feelings of withdrawal in her as well. They stop talking, rarely touch each other at all and finally, let go of each other completely.
In contrast to the problem discussed above, openly talking to the partner about your ED problem can, too, have negative outcomes on them. Sometimes, men make efforts to rationalize the problem they are suffering from by placing the blame entirely on their partners. This is particularly relatable when the triggering factors of erectile dysfunction are related to psychological issues such as depression, anxiety or relationship difficulties. Men can affect their partners by indirectly blaming them, either partially or completely. Resentment and bitterness often take over the females as she starts behaving coldly to her guy on a daily basis. ED, in such cases, not only damages your partner in terms of physical intimacy but also in reference to other aspects. Women stuck in such situations are also likely to start an affair with another man or decide to end the relationship once and for all.
Luckily, there are several ways to deal with such situations without affecting your partner. This includes sitting down together with a calm mind and discussing the problem in depth. None of you must be judgmental about the other while expressing your thoughts and concerns and finding a solution. You can also work on expanding your concepts and thoughts about sexuality with the help of your partner in order to keep the romance and intimacy alive. While you are dealing with ED yourself, do not forget how it can affect your partner. Educate her as much as you can about ED and make sure that she does not blame herself for this problem. As far as your sexual health is concerned, you will eventually settle down for a treatment and put this problem to a permanent end one day.