Erectile dysfunction can prove to be extremely taxing in marriages. Not only does it shatter the confidence of men but also causes disturbances in women. Men who experience this condition are said to share its psychological impacts with their partners, especially in marriages where hiding the problem can lead to severe consequences.
In What Ways can Erectile Dysfunction be Affecting Your Marriage?
According to the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, more than 30 million males in the US alone are suffering from erectile dysfunction. It is a condition that prevails as the person ages and is responsible for triggering emotional, physical, and psychological turmoil in men. But did you know that erectile dysfunction has an equal tendency to affect your better half?
Importance of Sex in Marriage
Sex is said to have profound impacts on your life. It is said to act as “glue” in your marital relationship according to sex therapists. It is important as it fosters intimacy in couples. As the couples indulge in sexual activities, their bodies release a hormone known as oxytocin. This hormone helps the couples to bond more. Moreover, this hormone is also responsible for bringing about a relaxing effect on the body and decreasing the anxiety. You may be surprised to know that sex also helps in getting a good night sleep.
In most of the cases, sex serves as the perfect workout for both men and women. It increases the couple’s heart rate and improves the blood circulation throughout the body as well as to the penis. Participating in sex can even help the couple live a healthy life free from cardiovascular complications.
How ED Kills Marriage
Couples in which men are facing erectile dysfunction have an important decision to make i.e. whether they can continue to have an intimate relationship without participating in a sexual activity? It is obvious that most of the people do not prefer living together without sex. For this reason, ED can lead to failure of relationships, and particularly affects marriages. This disease is said to leave behind a huge emotional strain on both men and women because their bedroom time is often spent fighting about how this problem is ruining their lives. Hence, it is really important for couples to mutually get over this problem in order to continue their marriage.
As discussed before, most of the couples consider sex as an essential key factor in pursuing marriage. A poor sex life can easily destroy relationships, often leading to separations. It is totally devastating for those who have been actively participating in their sexual lives before the occurrence of erectile dysfunction. If a man finds himself stuck in a situation like this, he is to feel ashamed of himself. He considers himself to be emasculated and feels guilty of not using his manhood properly. If the problem persists for a longer duration of time, it can even cause a man to lose his self-esteem. This often forces him to withdraw from his partner. Depression commonly occurs in such individuals as they start feeling alone and too ashamed to seek professional help or treatment.
While the presence of erectile dysfunction urges the male spouse to draw away from marriage, its effects on the females must not be neglected. The female sexual partner is said to suffer from an equal level of frustration in this case. She might even confuse the problem with something else if her partner does not openly talk to her about it. If the couple decides not to talk about the issue, the female spouse might feel that her man does not find her attractive any more. She might also think that her partner has formed sexual relationships with someone else and does not wish to be with her anymore. Despite the fact that the feelings of both partners are perfectly normal, such cases often lead to the killing of marriage and separation.
Why Men Hide Their Erectile Dysfunction?
In general, two reasons can account for the fact why a man hides his sexual problem from his partner. First, he does not want to seek out for any kind of help. The mindset of a man naturally considers asking for help as a sign of failure and weakness. This is particularly damaging because he relates his erectile dysfunction with the failure of his masculinity. In most of the cases, he is not even aware of the fact that his condition is not only affecting him but his partner as well.
Secondly, males are not considered as good verbal communicators. They are more likely to withhold any information instead of sharing it with their partners. They internalize their feelings and reveal them slowly. They fail to realize how they are affecting their marriages by hiding their feelings.
How Society Contributes to ED and Failed Marriages
Not many people realize how society can influence their perception regarding erectile dysfunction. Society forces people to believe that sex is an intimate and private act, yet the knowledge regarding it is conveyed using social media platforms. Sex is something that is infused in every culture. Men are said to be pressurized by their peers as well as the society to “perform” in bed in order to prove their manhood. If he is unable to do so, questions are raised regarding his manhood which are directly affecting his self-esteem. He starts feeling guilty as he is unable to perform and his way of coping with this problem is to de-sexualize himself.
Erection weakness and impotence is not only a problem for males, but also for an entire relationship. For instance, a man suffering from erectile dysfunction feels challenged and rather ashamed. His feelings urge him to move away from his partner and stop giving her any physical or emotional attention. At the same time, he might also refuse to discuss his feelings or problems with anyone, even his partner. What he is not realizing is how his attitude is affecting his marriage. The lack of sexual relationship causes a strain on the partner and ultimately on the marriage.
Counseling Couples to Save Marriage
For saving marriages, it is important for both partners to understand that his penis does not always have to work like a machine as its button is pushed. Erectile dysfunction is an issue and can potentially put the marriages at stake. It must be ensured that both partners are working together and developing an understanding. As a man must openly express his feelings, his spouse also needs to understand him and offer him sympathy.
The solution to fighting ED to save marriages is as easy as joint therapy. This therapy involves both partners as they are made aware of their conditions, apprehensions and what is the best way to proceed. It is important to counsel the couple and ensure that no one is blamed. It must be made clear to the couple that erectile dysfunction is medically treatable and that their sexual life can always be restored. The sooner the problem is addressed, the sooner the marriage can be saved.